Peanuts
by Kayzo
Summary: Dean's sure he's ruined it with Cas; what posessed him to try and kiss him? and in the middle of the hall too. Yup, he's screwed this one up. High School AU, Destiel


It's right after lunch and Dean is heading right towards History, Cas to the left for one of his AP classes, when it happens. It would have been better to have done it somewhere _not_ in between the calf and calc, but Dean hadn't really though it through that much. Or at all, really. Maybe he should have, it would have saved him his entire reputation.

You see, when Dean leaned in for a kiss, a kiss he hadn't even known he wanted until he was halfway to Cas's lips, Cas freakin' pulled back. He leaned away, avoided Dean's lips like they were diseased, tilted his head in that freakin' Cas way of his, said their usual goodbyes, and was gone.

Dean stood stalk still until the late bell jarred him from his stupor, and then his face went beet red and it felt as though the whole school had watched him make a fool of himself, even though the halls were all but deserted.

He gets to class late, but even Mr. Singer's stern look can't trump what's just taken place. Dean's life is _ruined_. Cas, fuck, _Cas_, who he's been best friends with ever since the little nerd moved in next door during eighth grade, now hates him, or thinks he's an asshole for practically assaulting him in the hall. Damn it, what the hell _possessed _him?

Fourth period rounds, and three people (Jo, Gabe, and Pam) have already come up to him about the aborted kiss, each rendition more extreme than the last. By the end of the day, Dean's sure that the rumor mill has done its work and everyone knows what an idiot he is. He skips out on waiting for Cas after student council and goes straight to pick up Sam. It's the cowards way out, but it's better than more embarrassment and Cas coming out and saying he's done with Dean entirely.

"You tried to kiss Cas?"

Oh God, it's even gotten to the middle school.

"And he didn't _let_ you?" Sam asks incredulously.

"Can we drop this, Sam?"

"I don't believe it."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm an idiot."

"No you idiot," Dean rolls his eyes but Sam powers on, "I can't believe he didn't let you. He's been in love with you ever since he moved here."

Dean shorts "Yeah, that's why he left me hanging."

"There has to be some reason, Dean!" Damn, the kid sounds so earnest, it's almost cute, "maybe you had food in your teeth?"

Scratch that thought. Not cute at all.

"Drop it, Sammy." Sam scowls, but he shuts up, and that's enough for now. They're walking home when Dean's phone buzzes, Dean glances down. 'Cas' flashes back at him and he hesitates.

Sam looks over his shoulder, "Answer it already, Dean." Dean sighs, but flips the phone open.

_Are you still here?_

And Dean's imagination sees Cas, under a faulty streetlight in the dead of night, shivering as snow falls around him, frozen fingers trying to type out the message to Dean as he coughs pitifully. Sure, it's sunny and two thirty in the afternoon, but still…

_went 2 get sam_

The reply comes when they turn on their street, _Okay. I'll see you tomorrow_. Dean winces; the Cas in his mind is now trying to sell matches.

Sam snorts, "You're such a wuss" Dean scowls but doesn't reply because Sam is kinda right.

The next day comes, and it's weirdly normal. When Dean comes downstairs, Cas is there like always, chatting with his mom and Sam, saying 'no thanks' to the offers of food, even though Cas is a stick and Dean's mom's cooking is the _best_. Cas still says hi with that smile that's kinda always made Dean's stomach flip. He reviews class notes while Dean eats breakfast and they still walk Sam to school before making their way to school themselves. In fact, it's so normal that Dean's starting to doubt yesterday even happened.

But then it's after luch, Dean's heading right and Cas's heading left, when Cas leans up and gives Dean a quick peck on the lips, blushes a bit, says goodbye sweetly, and heads off.

Dean's late to class again.

Jo, Gabe, and Pam all come to confirm this new development and all Dean can do is nod, stunned as he is. The end of the day comes quicker than Dean would like (for once) because he still doesn't know how to react. Sure, he's happy that he and Cas kissed, but what the hell was yesterday? Cas doesn't seem the type to begrudge Dean the first move, he knows, but he can't think of anything else.

Dean hangs outside the theatre (Cas is kinda in everything, Dean doesn't know how their friends) when Cas comes out, and the smile he sends to Dean brings heat to his face.

"Dean" Cas comes to stop in front of him.

"Cas," Dean acknowledges, gruffer than he intended, but Cas doesn't seem to mind. Dean hauls his bag up and they set off towards Sam's school. As they walk, Dean thinks, and the longer he thinks, the more nonsensical his thoughts become.

Why'd Cas reject him just to kiss him the next day? Did he _want_ Dean to be humiliated? Taken down a peg? Chastise him for being a bit of a slut? Dean glances at Cas from the corner of his eye; Dean can't see any evil thoughts reflected in his eyes, he's the same as always. And why's that? Why isn't Cas as worked up about this as Dean is? Is it only him? Was today some kind of pity kiss? Cas seeing how much that rejected kiss had taken out of Dean's reputation had decided to take one for the team? God damn it, was Cas just being his nice as hell self and he doesn't even like Dean like that? Is Cas just playing him so he won't hurt him? Then Dean's even more of an idiot.

Dean can feel the righteous anger building. He can take rejection like a man, Cas doesn't need to baby him or lie to him to protect his feelings; that's just a shitty thing to do. And if Cas is just playing him, leading him on for nothing other than entertainment, then he's a lot more like his brothers than Dean had ever imagined.

"Dean, are you okay?" Dean stops, Cas follows suit.

"No, no I'm not, Cas," Cas gives him a quizzical look, "what the hell was yesterday, huh?"

Cas tilts his head and his eyes scrunch in confusion, "what was what, Dean?"

"Don't give me that," Dean scowls and crosses his arms, "yesterday in the hall, when I went to—you know" Dean makes a vague gesture with his hands.

"Kiss me?"

Cas says it so point blank that Dean can't help but blush, "y-yeah." He clears his throat, "Why the hell d' you ignore it? If you're just trying to spare my feelings, spare _me_." With that, he starts to walk away, anger fueling his steps, because he's sure, just sure, that Cas was only trying to be the nice guy and Dean's not sure if he's more angry at Cas or ashamed with himself.

"Dean," Cas trots after him, and when Dean doesn't stop, he grabs his arm, "Dean! Listen!" Cas scowls and Dean would scowl too if he didn't want to avoid this confrontation so badly, "I didn't kiss you yesterday because I had a peanut butter sandwich."

Dean blinks, "I'm allergic to peanuts."

Cas gives Dean an equally exasperated and fond look, "Yeah. I know, and I didn't think anaphylactic shock would be a good way for our first kiss to go. "

"You like me?" It comes out more hopeful than Dean was going for.

This time Cas's look is all fondness and soft eyes, "of course, Dean."

"So," Dean finds himself leaning closer, "you didn't kiss me because of-"

"Peanut butter" Cas is slowly leaning in too.

"And you do like me."

"Yeah."

"And you don't mind if I kiss you?" Cas's eyes dart to his lips before finding Dean's eyes again and that's all the answer Dean needs.

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